if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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