MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize