I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's blow job season.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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