It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
