i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize