Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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