Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
