Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
