I feel great
I just peed on a car
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
