Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
