my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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