you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
