Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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