Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
