so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
