so that wasnt chicken after all
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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