I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
