Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
