:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
