wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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