But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
