Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
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