Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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