Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
