I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
