i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
