The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
