Already got asked if we're dating
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
