He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
