you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
