yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
