The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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