guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize