you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
