the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
