VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
