I hate all girls vehemently.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Randomize
