So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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