You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
