Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
