So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
