the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
