Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
