i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I wanna passion pit in your ass
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
