he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
