Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
