tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
