i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
