So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
