No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
