Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
