i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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