he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize