my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
