I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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