how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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