Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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