My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
