I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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