so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
