smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
