how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
