hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
