two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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