Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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