How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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