in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
